Just calling to say "Help me!"
Ten hours from my hometown, my mom called last night as she relayed to me that my dad had been admitted to the hospital. I felt scared and helpless, all in that moment.
Together as we live in a pandemic and racial unrest, I am reminded life is short. At the beginning of this extremely unique season, I had my son, Landon, write a paper on what he would like people to say at his funeral. Maybe morbid to some (and maybe even more morbidly embarrassing for my son as I share one of my favorite photos of him), but I think it is a great lesson.. keep the end in mind, always.
Today, as my dad rests in the hospital with my loving mom's hand in his, I know my parents were faced with the possiblity of the end. And as much as I never want to imagine life without my parents, I know that day will eventually come. I am at peace in knowing their hearts..My dad has a huge appetite for living and believes that when this adventure on Earth is over, the biggest one awaits for him in heaven.
My heart cries out for those hurting right now. As I got the call from my mom last night, I was reminded that just last summer, my dad rushed to my side. He frantically drove 10 hours to get to me as I cried out over the phone. "Help me, I'm not okay."
Looking out at this world, I know it is crying into the phone, into the streets, "Help me, I'm not okay." I hear you. I hear the cries, I see the injustices, I see the destruction, I see the fear, I see the hate. #BlackLivesMatter and #AllLivesMatter are useless phrases and divisive, if neither are backed up with love and compassion for each other.
With this unique season, I know I have fallen short..I shamefully admit I have been angry, judgemental, and fear has been afflicted. My heart has been exposed and again I found myself saying, "I'm not okay". Today as I beg for clarity, I start to see more clearly, and I know it starts with my heart. May I begin each day with an open heart, listening to one another, grieving together, and healing as a nation, because dear friends, "Life is short."